Ted: Why you should see it

 

Ted hauled in 54.1 million at the box office this weekend, making it the third best debut ever for an “R”-rated comedy.

I contributed $9 to the overall take (you’re welcome, Universal), and thoroughly enjoyed it. Here’s why Ted‘s worth your time:

• The always-serious Mark Wahlberg is much looser in the role of a likeable lug; a loser with irresistable charm.
• Along those lines, the titular Ted is adorable–even when he’s doing bong hits, nailing his coworker, or swearing up a blue streak.
• Mila Kunis. Sweet merciful Moses.
• Patrick Stewart as narrator. He sets everything up as a delightful, childhood fantasy, fairy tale … and then takes things in a very Seth McFarlane direction.
• The laughs are consistent. I giggled and/or laughed from the opening credits to close.
• The cameos. Two are surprising; one is amusing in the same way that Lou Ferrigno was in I Love You, Man. Try to avoid reading online reviews–they seem hell-bent on spoiling the surprises.
• Because Michael Phillips from the Tribune didn’t like it. Quoth Phillips, “The jokes, meantime, depend on how many R-rated synonyms there are for a woman’s vagina, as spoken by a plush toy.”

John: Wait; was it any of those names with a “Lynn” after it?

Ted: *Yes*.