Home address–Area 51

A wave of, well, bizarreness hit my house today around 10:45 a.m. For starters, the kitchen faucet produced a trickle of water when turned on. I know, I know, that doesn’t sound all that shocking. But this is the KITCHEN FAUCET. One of the few things that I know I can count on through thick and thin. The home of the 24/7, full-blast, kickass dishwashing volume, stream. A trickle was all I had. Then, the clock in my kitchen started turning backwards. Again, I said backwards. And it was turning quickly. The hands sped around the face at a speed similar to what Superman was traveling at to turn back time in the first “Superman” movie. I assumed it would right itself at some point. And it did, strangely enough, about an hour later. I walked out of the kitchen to go upstairs for my book interview with Mark Schwarz (Uberstudio). The second I jacked my iMic into my iPod, the iPod went completely dead. I had to do the much-dreaded cassette recording instead. I later realized that all I needed to do to fix the iPod was the “Menu/Select” restart thing, but I was too panicked and concerned at that moment. I should note that by 6:15 p.m., the kitchen faucet was running fine. It all seemed and felt very illogical that all three things hit within 5 minutes of each other. I’m convinced that my kitchen/home office were caught in some sort of weird transdimensional shift, which threw off all the electronics and plumbing.

I’m going to sleep with one eye open tonight, just in case “they” have designs on abducting me.

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