Bully for you

I couldn’t sleep the other day, and my mind drifted past the mundane to the beyond-ridiculous. Which name came first, I wondered, the titty twister or the purple nurple? That brought me back to junior high school and the days of bullies and the prepubescent caste system. I don’t think there’s anything more hellish than living through those years (unless you’re a junior high school teacher–in which case, society’s collective prayers are with you). How are bullys made? Is it shitty parenting? Is it type-A asshole dads who try to bend, shape, and break their children into little Peles from the sidelines of soccer camp? Is it television and its endless barrage of bad guys who always look cooler than the good guys? I haven’t a clue, but when I do have a child ready to go into junior high school, I want to be sure that he or she is able to circumvent the whole swirly and undy grundy process.

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