Things that have been bothering me

1) That tile ad that pops up all over the web asking–no, begging–you to please…PLEASE…help children with cleft palates. As I innocently work away at my desktop, there’s a sad and deformed face staring back at me. Dude, I just wanted to check the 7-Day forecast; I don’t want to see poor Timmy’s disconnected kisser. I get it…it’s a horrible thing. Oh, f***, there’s the ad on, too. Okay, you got me…I’m in for $20. You take PayPal? Good. Put it towards a palatal obturator. Now go away.

2) Rush haters. Yes, I bought tickets to see them at the United Center in less than two weeks. Yes, I’m looking forward to it. No, you obviously don’t understand the sheerawesomekickyourasswithasteeltoedbootedness of a Neil Peart drum solo. 

3) “The Man.” Your home can now be seized if you’re accused of music piracy (I’m totally rethinking that Pablo Cruise grab from last March now). Damn the man. Here’s a post-modern question–what if you’re caught pirating Alestorm, the Scottish pirate metal band?

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