The Top 5 Most Metal Superheroes Ever

At its most bombastic (and in some cases, most interesting), heavy metal can sound like an audiobook version of a comic book. You can almost see a Marvel or D.C. logo printed on songs about warriors waving broadswords at legions of undead, visits to the flaming pits of hell, or late night extraterrestrial visitations.

Furthering the case for the metal and comics symbiosis, I offer up a list of the TOP 5 MOST METAL SUPERHEROES EVER:
1.  Thor.  He’s the freaking Norse God of Thunder, which means that Vikings worshipped him.  And honestly, what could be more metal than making your mark with a storm-creating hammer?  The Asgardian, as imagined by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, even has the same hair that David Lee Roth had when Van Halen recorded “I’m the One.”  There’s even a metal artist who’s assumed Thor’s identity.  The son of Odin is a total (golden) lock for #1.
2.  Doctor Strange.  He utters arcane mystic incantations.  He hangs out in a secret man cave in the heart of Greenwich Village and dates a goth chick with white hair.  He has a rogues gallery that includes some of hell’s A-listers and ETERNITY.  That’s all of eternity, mind you. That’s not just metal, that’s completely badass.
3.  The Spectre.  The embodiment of the wrath of God, this spook does all of the big guy’s wetwork.  The Spectre has been known to melt and torture evildoers.  His skin is also completely pale, like he’s been holed up in a basement listening to Venom records and playing World of Warcraft for the past five years straight.
4. Iron Fist.  He learned Kung fu in a secret city and earned his chest tattoo by stealing it off a giant scar on a dragon’s chest.  Because can turn his fist into something iron-like, he’s registered as a lethal weapon with the government.  Kung fu, dragons, and deadly power are metal enough for this Hero for Hire to make the Top 5.
5.  Jonah Hex.  The disfigured hero from D.C.’s version of the Wild West is the typical comics antihero (see also:  Wolverine, John Constantine, Deadpool, and Ghost Rider–metal heroes, one and all).  Jonah kills people for money, while serving a higher sense of frontier justice. Liquor, guns, and whorehouses define Hex’s world, not unlike the world of Pantera in the 90s.
Soooo…who am I missing here?
Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: