Funeral for a friend: Burying “douchebag”

It’s over.

We, as a society, have stretched and abused the word “douchebag” beyond what’s good and meaningful. It’s a shame, really.  I love dropping “douchebag” in a sentence. Another favorite activity is offering it up as the answer to a simple rhyme inquiry (“what rhymes with ‘mouchebag’”).

I realized that douchebag’s days were numbered when Entertainment Weekly recently (and correctly) used the word(actually, the mainstream magazine-friendly “d-bag”) to describe the recently Kate-less Jon Gosselin.  As an aside—seriously, Jonny, you’ve got douchebag written all over your Ed Hardy shirt.  Go off the grid for a bit. 

Back to douchebag…it’s become the go-to insult for most of us to use, even Entertainment Weekly.  Because of this,“douchebag” no longer has punch or bite. Disappointingly, even hotchickswithdouchebags.com seems a little passé at this point.

I’m sure that “a******” was once a word treated with douchebag-level reverence, but we know how that story ends.  There’s nothing at all shocking, funny, or pointed about saying “a******” anymore.  It’s akin to watching a really cool indie band go mainstream: You remember that there once was something subversive and awesome about it, but those days seem long gone now that everyone else has gotten a hold of it.

So I’ve come here today to both praise and bury douchebag.  In the right context, talking about the right person, there was no better word to use.  But now we must move on to what’s next.  As to what that will be, I offer no insight. The “jagoff” initiative never made it past Chicago’s borders.  “Douchenozzle” is too derivative of the late “douchebag.”  Like you, I’ll just sit and wait in anxious anticipation.

Or is that a douchebag thing to do?  

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