Halloween

Bring on girls in slutty nurse costumes and dudes reliving their watching-horror-movies-in-their-parents’-basements days, Halloween is upon us.

There’s a lot to love about Halloween; candy corn, for starters. It’s a snack delight that gets unfairly backburnered in non-Autumnal months. 

This is also peak horror movie season. I’m totally on board with the annual Bootaculars that crowd the theaters for a month or so until family-friendly holiday flicks kick them out.

Of course, nothing says “Halloween” like neighborhood trick-or-treating. It’s endearing and delightful to have little princesses and Batmen ring my doorbell in search of M&Ms and Baby Ruth. Side note: Baby Ruth, how I love you…

The dark side of trick-or-treating is the thuggery. I roll my eyes every year at the surly junior high goons in Jason masks who bitterly death march from door to door, loading empty pillowcases with candy.  Happy Halloween, you sullen schmucks. Tell your parents I’m sorry for their pain.

As for me wearing a costume, I dunno, the idea of it just seems silly. I can’t even imagine a costume I’d be willing to wear. Okay, maybe the Golden Age Green Lantern.  But that’s it.

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