“Legion”

The critics tried to keep me from seeing “Legion.”  Case in point…

The Los Angeles Times wrote:
“Legion may traffic in signposts of the apocalypse, but the whole affair mostly indicates that we’re in the movie wasteland that is January.”

The Chicago Reader says:
“This feature debut by writer-director Scott Stewart may sound like an enjoyably goofy theo-horror romp, but it’s a serious penance.”

Entertainment Weekly adds:
“the script turns out to be a rough and humorless beast slouching its way towards utter ludicrousness.”

And yet, I went to see it this past week.

“Legion” portrays the onset of a biblical apocalypse with B-movie glee. If you’ve seen the trailer, you get the gist: An angel armed to the teeth with bazookas and other heavy artillery protects a group of humans from an onslaught of angels bent on purging the world of the human race. That onslaught is focused on a dusty diner in the middle of nowhere–the desolate, tumbleweed-covered, town of Paradise Falls.

This is not high art (though Dennis Quaid manages a slightly better acting turn than he did in “G.I. Joe Rise of the Cobra”). Knowing that, accepting “Legion” at B-movie face value makes the movie-going experience a (pardon the expression) hell of a lot more fun. There are creepy children, a disturbing potty-mouthed granny, and pus that eats through human flesh. Did I forget to mention that the mean angels have fucked-up cartoon teeth? All. In.

I’m sure that  “Invictus,” “Julie and Julia,” and “Precious” are all incredible cinematic achievements. Sometimes, you just want to see an angel blow up a car with a big gun instead.

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