Jonah Hex – The Movie

I just took myself to see Jonah Hex tonight (and if that isn’t lame beyond words, I’m not sure what is). 

In short, it was awful.  The story…the concepts…the dialog…everything was a mess.  The movie was an embarrassment to both DC and Warner Brothers, and a shameful waste of Josh Brolin and John Malkovich’s estimable acting talents. 

I was ready to sit down tonight and pan “Hex” in great detail.  Then I read this review, which articulated everything that’s wrong with “Hex” so brilliantly, I decided that I shouldn’t even try.  Chris Sims is, hands-down, the best comic book-related editorial voice on the web.

And, yes, I should’ve known better than to see the movie. After all, the trailer completely sucked:

The latest Jonah Hex comic series, ushered in by Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti in 2005, got me interested in both Hex and the Western genre. Jonah Hex is a classic character, a post-Civil War anti-hero whose morality runs in sharp conflict with his bounty-hunting vocation. There were endless possibilities for his translation to the screen, none of which should have included giving him supernatural super-powers.  On that note:  Really?  He can talk to the dead?  Fail.

And was it too much to ask for the best DC Western character of all, Bat Lash, to make an appearance?  Now that I mention it, Bat Lash would have made for a better movie.  Note to Hollywood:  Owen Wilson would be a stupendous Bat Lash.

Iron Man 2 was merely okay.  Jonah Hex sucked to high heaven.  Not a great year for comic movies.  I’m hoping that the THOR movie makes everything better in 2011.

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