The Two Worst Movies Out Right Now: A Chart
I went to two movies this weekend: G.I. Joe: Retaliation and Olympus Has Fallen. They were both terrible … like, you’re an absolute schmuck if you go to see them, terrible. Making matters worse? They’re essentially the exact same movie.
Consider this checklist:
|G.I. Joe||Olympus Has Fallen|
|Movie opens with established conflict in North Korea||Yes||Yes|
|White House infiltrated and taken over by an insidious enemy||Yes||Yes|
|All of America’s nukes in danger of exploding||Yes||Yes|
|U.S. President is replaced for most of the movie||Yes||Yes|
|Lots of shooting||Yes||Yes|
|Is actually “Die Hard” without Bruce Willis||No||Yes|
|Has Bruce Willis, star of “Die Hard”||Yes||No|
|Has an adorable child in a supporting role||Yes||Yes|
|Has more than one actor who has appeared in Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy||No||Yes|
|Has an actress who recently starred in an unsuccessful Wonder Woman pilot||Yes||No|
|Has the leader of the Wu-Tang Clan||Yes||No|
So much for new ideas.